The Love We Had Flew Away

That day was a magical day, us under the cherry blossom trees wind softly breezing. The sound of laughers and cameras clicking. Pictures by pictures it moves to the future, to where you left me. I cry and cry thinking how could you leave me, the love we had and the future that was behind our palms. You said you’ll stay with me forever but that forever never came. Like how when I called you for help and there was no help but thorns cutting thru my veins. I softly spread my arms as if they were my wings. You was so far away from me that by the time you get there, I would already flew off. I only want to be comforted by you and only you. I plan to leave too but I just love you too much for me to let go of this cherishing bond that we had between our gripping hands.

For you to hurt me, I’ll forgive you. I want you to do what you think is good and for the best for you. Your smiles make me feel better every time I feel depressed and how you embrace me with hugs. The instant you step that line, I could see you leaving but my eyes are filling with tears, blurring everything to the point where I woke up in my hospital bed. Flying back, I could hear you voice calling my name, your tears dripping onto my pale skin, crying, begging for me to wake up. It all in the past now, when we use to loved each other deeply, Pacific Ocean deep. I'm certain that the love you gave me, it gave me warmth, strength to resist the pain, and protect me from harm. And it did and i'm thankful for the love you gave me. Your sweet long arms around me made me warm with comfort and safety. I still now remember your voice, scent and the wonderful time which pass away.

My heart beats to today. Your hands lowkey pushing me forth to move on. I still remember your face, i remember the familiar scent and touch, I remember your kiss upon my soft pink lips. That was our last kiss, a goodbye kiss. The moment I think of you, i'm yelling for you to come back to me and crying til my eyes would pop out like a jack in the box. My chest still hurts and my tears still overflowing like a waterfall. Every bit of my sadness, every bit of my happies, I hope that it still going to be you.  I go to places that we use to went and it takes me back to cherry blossom day, this it for you A. Can you smile now A? Come back

Missing you (Memory Poem)

Do you know how it feels to miss you?
It's like being in the world by yourself
I miss you so much that it hurts
I've been waiting for you to come back again
And you really came back after all this times
My feelings for you are indescribable, you know
You're like a drug that I'm addicted to
And no rehab can fix it.

Don't the stars in the sky light up? 
Like you need to light up my life
I can't breathe without you
Every time I see you, you give me butterflies in my stomach
When it comes to you, 
I would give everything to you, anything!!
You're just amazing and so special
You're like a drug that I'm addicted to
And no rehab can fix it.

Remember that time when we would go places together? 
Man, we use to act crazy in public and people would just stared at us.
Hahaha!!!
Washington, New York,California, Niagara Falls, & Virgina, 
The places we went together when we were kids, remember?

My head would spin and spin like a Echanted Teacup from a Six Flag ride
I miss you so much that when I see you,
I don't know what to say or do
I never feel as empty as when you leave 
It's like being in a dark room, all alone 
Sometimes I would look up to the sky at night
And watch the bright moon shinning down,
I would hear your voice talking to me
You're always in my head, you're like music to my ears

I just miss you so much......

Im not perfect...

I had to went outside just for a little air

I feel like in inside in a box, trap

About to snap and would destroy everything that would get in my way

My parent can't help me so does my brothers

I keep on saying to myself "It all your fault!! It's all your fault!! Why did you do that"

Okay yes i did something that i regret but what you going to do about?

You can't go back in time and fix it

If i could i would changed everything

I'm not a Barbie who is pretty

Because being pretty sucks and it hurts

I'm not perfect 

I make mistake, yes a lot

I'm weak but I can be strong as a lion 

I would fall and

I would rise 

I would cry like a little baby and 

I would laugh when i don't want to

I would never tell anyone what wrong with me 

Because it not important

No one cares

I would push away the people i needed the most

I would decline hugs when i want them the most

I would say things i didn't mean and would say sorry afterward 

I'm not perfect

I'm not that girl you always wanted,

That girl who has the perfect body and that beauty face  

There's one thing they don't have, they don't have a big heart like me,

That would love you and hold you down in bad time and in good time no matter what

But I'm still not perfect?

That Day (Persona Poem)

Shot fire, shot fire 
Repeat shot fire, man down man down
Traps are every where, one more step BOOM!!! 
This all reply back to Afghanistan..
The noise of the gun, car flaming like hell and prayers

I blink once then twice
Now I'm back home 
My head so badly, like a hippo had stomp on me
I look over my shoulders and i see my sister and brothers 
Car are flipping around like a pancake would
Rafael told my Little angle to come down
"Shush little angle. Don't be afraid. Everything is going to be okay"

I thought to myself, I don't want to die. 
Not yet, not now. 
I didn't know what to do but we have to get away from this disaster
I feel like I had failed my family.
I was too ashamed of myself
My sister didn't think so and so those my family
They told me it wasn't my fault that all this happened 
But it was still my fault though.....

life.....(Something I Wrote)

I first held my sister on May 25 

Her eye's was big as the moon

She was still crying at the moment 

I told to her that i was going to be the best bother you ever had,

Even though she got two older brother too, I'm still the best

It crazy because I came home just in time to see my little angle to be born

I call her my little angle because God gave my family something special from Heaven

My other brothers they couldn't make it because they was on duty 

Day by day, I could see her grow little by little
She started as a seed to a beautiful flower

I know that my mom  was tired after giving birth 

So I took care of my little angle

Look like I'm the parent, weird right?
Her first word was Mikey in a sweet voice
Sweeter then a Lipton Tea, 
Sweeter then a Chocolate Cake
"Mikey" with a smile and a little giggle

I wasn't going to let anyone hurt her or touch her
She so precious and delicate 
When i was about to leave for Afghanistan, she didn't want to let go of my leg
She was only two year old when i left her
They said mans never show their tears to no one
Well I did, I cry because I don't want to leave her
I was scared that I'm not going to be able to see her again
Cuz I don't know if I'm coming back home alive or not..........

Black (Color Poem)

Black is like an expression

I look into the water to see my reflection but i don't see it

All i see is black

Black is what we wear to a funeral

Tears would drop, falling fast like a waterfall 

Nobody is talking because talking just turn into yelling

Blaming on each other like it their fault that all this happen

like as if we could had save them

The silence of the room feels so cold, so lonely

Black is like a black hole 

Once you in, you can't get out of it

Black is the thought and feelings we experience 

Black is a devil

They pull you into their hands

Controlling you

But they say that death can be cheated but they're wrong though

My heat is beating up and also heating up

The smell of a black rose, it scent weaken from day after day

It feels as if you was sleeping then all the sudden you feel as if you're falling from the sky, BAM!

Scared from a falling frizzy faded dream

Six month past, i don't know myself anymore

My heart use to be pure red but now it's pure black

But wait 

There a light shinning so little now

You can see it but you can't save it

It all too late because my shinning little light had been devoured by the evil black